• Listening to Becca sing a Lights song (then grumbling that the girls at school haven’t heard of her!)
• Looking for dragons in the forest on our way to school with Ethan. There is a large population of orange and blue dragons located there.
• Watching Cordi scoot backwards, then get really frustrated when she meant to go forwards.
• Experiencing J as a professor, preparing, organizing and hosting a conference and taking on more administrative like stuff (even though he would much rather be tweaking chemicals and making new molecules)
• Noticing my pants getting looser and looser (yet not fitting into the next size down grrr). Feeling strong and empowered.
• Seeing the sunshine and lying in the sun beams through the window.
• Reconnecting with friends from the past.
• Keeping my house cleaner.
• and lastly working on a project with J that I hopefully can reveal to you guys soon

What is making you smile today?

Life is good. Working out, losing weight, the kids are doing well (although Ethan is still sick with a cold he just pushes through it) …. J is super busy but that is the life of a chemistry professor. He is working long hours, with no real end in sight.

Part of me feels like I need something to look forward to. Everything feels mundane and routine. We do not have the funds to take a vacation and with J being so busy I would be going solo with the kids even if we could.

Retail therapy is out since we are trying to pay off the student loans. I seem to never have time to craft at the moment. I do find when I do not have a creative outlet I get down.

I know part of it is that I am lonely. With J working more, my BFF here just had a baby and has her husband at home so she is busy, and I have few other reliable resources to tap into. We have been here for a few years but I have yet to find a good (yet small) group of friends.

Granted I have been busy and I have my Amy (hehe), but I feel like I want more? Maybe? You know with all the spare time I have. Can’t you guys just move here? But it isn’t that I really want to go out and start networking, I just want to feel sorry for myself that I haven’t already got more friends.

I was hoping to convince J that the perfect birthday present would be a dog. And although he is no longer opposed to the idea, he feels it isn’t the right time.

It kinda feels like it isn’t the right time for anything.

That is a drag.

How do you perk up when feeling down?

Labels.

They can empower us or pull us down. Just because a label fit you before doesn’t mean it fits you now.

I am a RUNNER.

I am on a DIET.

I read CHILDREN’S LIT (and like it!)

I used to look at runners in awe and disbelief. Why would anyone in their right mind run? Scary Bear … Run Like Hell. For fun? Not so much. I would pass a runner by in my car, and wonder why? What would possess a person to get all sweaty and run?

Now that I wear the label of runner, I get it. I understand that high, the sense of empowerment and the pure energy one feels during and after a run. It was a life lesson. If you do not understand it, try it.

I used to not work out everyday.

I used to snack.

I used to be able to eat almost anything and be alright.

Now … I have different labels that match where I am right now. It is hard to shed the old labels. Sometimes it is hard to believe in change. I work out everyday. I may not look it (yet), but I am a fit woman. I am strong.

I used to make excuses for who I am. I would get embarrassed that I liked certain books, or genres. I would poke fun at myself for liking the works of Joss Whedon (think Buffy), that I collect dolls, knit and would rather spend the night in reading than out at a club.

As nerdy as all those things are. The grand total make me. I am a creative soul, that likes to play lego, My Little Pony, video games, colour and sing songs in the rain with my kids. As an adult I like a little fantasy in my Middle Earth, there is room for fairies, hobbits, Ents and magic.

We all have labels.

Do you have any labels that do not fit anymore but keep hanging around?

How do you shed the negative or the old labels?

Or is there?

Lately I find myself thinking a lot, yet never taking action.

So I have decided to stop thinking.

hehe

So the sweet folks at Harper Collins sent me this delightful book by Andrea Israel and Nancy Garfinkel, called The Recipe Club: A Tale of Food and Friendship. I am still uncertain if I like the narrative style of telling the story through letters. The back and forth sends my head a little dizzy. Especially since I am reading in spurts, while nursing or right before bed. In this book I found it difficult to know which was which girl at first as the characters (being best friends) were very similar.

However once the story got rolling I found myself determined to find out whatever happened to Lilly and Val’s friendship to cause it to end. What an amazing thought to have a childhood friend throughout your life time.

The concept of sending and receiving recipes through correspondence got me all excited. So I am going to *try* to send a favourite recipe with every card or letter I send. The novel set in the 60’s and 70’s had the girl’s sending many more letters than one does in the modern era. If I was extremely organized I would attach a recipe to every personal email! What a treat eh? But I am not that organized!

As the story progresses the recipes that the girls shared are in the book as well, with their personal touches and unique names for the recipes reflecting the events in their lives. I had thought it would be cool to whip up one or two of the recipes to include in this post but alas that was when I was thinking too much and not doing too much.

I really enjoyed the story … so much so I want to pass it on. If you want to win a copy of The Recipe Club: A Tale of Food and Friendship, leave a comment stating your favourite recipe to make (you do not have to write it out just the name!)

February’s goals were:

1. Keep a food diary.
2. Give up drinking milk (I love milk and this so sucks)
3. Add a morning exercise to my routine.
4. Run a minimum of 9 km a week (3x 3 km)

I absolutely suck at keeping a food diary. I made it 9 days then got busy. Once forgotten it was never attended to again.  I am going to start up again because, I have an appointment with a dietician in March. Normally seeing a dietician in not covered by our provincial healthcare unless you have a weight related illness. Preventive health care, not so much. However since I have had a baby in the last year I am covered (because having a baby is a weight related illness?) Strangely this is a program that the local hospital does not make widely known, as my family doctor was unaware of it and could not find it on the hospital website (lame!)

I have given up milk. I miss it. I have been seen sniffing the children’s milk.

I have added morning exercise to my routine. Bloody hell I have been up by 5:30-6 am every morning to complete Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. I hurt. My body is totally transformed. I am not skinny yet but damn it under all that fat I am! I plan on continuing working out morning and evening (most days). Although I have found that I can do the exercises better later in the day, so I am going to walk or run in the mornings and switch it up a little.

I have been able to work up to 9km a week. In fact I have been able to add a km to my runs some of the time, running 4 km once and 3km 2x per week.

Now what?

March Goals

1. See dietician and implement changes she recommends.
2. By the end of the month run 12 km a week (4 km 3x a week).
3. Try out other exercise videos.

So March is change the diet month. January I cut out our evil night snacks and started exercising. February I turned it up a notch on the exercise and took a closer look at my diet. I am in awe the changes in my body. At the beginning of the month butt kicks and any jumping almost killed me. Now my body, balance and stamina are way improved. I feel great (although most days I am very sore) and my body is responding to the changes I am trying to make happen.

I have been asked a couple times if Fitness Friday is a meme, weekly thing. Why not! If you want to join me in sharing the ups and downs of fitness on your blog, I will happily link to it here every week. The more people we inspire to take care of themselves the better!

Congratulations to Gail, she is the winner of last month’s giveaway (hopefully the post will not take THREE months to deliver it to you!)

What is your favourite exercise?

This Belle Rocks is focusing on Sticking With It, work out clothes and the Wii Fit Plus for Fitness Friday!

Both Becca and Cordi are sick. This makes Ethan and I stir crazy and bored. Stuck in the house, nothing to do but chill out, watch sesame street, each Japanese noodles and read. Cordi has to be in my arms constantly. Which really isn’t that bad, except I have become accustomed to a little more freedom.

Becca has taken the day off school, so PJ’s and messy hair is all the rage here. We have enjoyed snuggles, books, television and it is still mid afternoon. GAH! Maybe I should give Cordi another bath in the kitchen sink?

As it is I am itching to get out and DO STUFF. Winter needs to just be over already. I need to SPRING out and just BE.

I am so fidgety even housework seems appealing. Yet I cannot venture far from their sides without a call for mom (in Cordi’s case a raspy cry that sounds wretched!) Normally I am quite content to be still if need be …. just not today.

We had such an awesome weekend. Tons of time together, shopping, laughing, cooking, playing.

AND

As of today … we paid off one of our student loans!!!!!!!!

*and the crowd goes wild*

Sure it was the small one … sure we still have one more massive one … BUT one is GONE! I am so so so trying to not spend and whittle that debt down. I hate debt. Makes me feel dirty. But man oh man I like pretty things. Such a hard balance.

gah.

This day is never going to end.

How do you pass the time when it seems frozen?

The greatest moments in my life are when they became apart of it.

My children are my everything.

I am their first role model. I am the person they will look to first and hopefully last. It is my responsibility to show them what it takes to be healthy, fit and happy. I am to guide them, demonstrate healthy eating habits and moderation.

The world will send them messages that will make them question themselves, doubt themselves, hate themselves. They need an anchor. My girls need to know they are beautiful no matter what, how to take care of themselves and the people they love. My boy needs to see it real, to see true beauty and to respect the people he loves.

I work out and take care of myself, so I can be that for them. I am important. I am beautiful. I am their mother. I matter.

I watched the following video at  PhD In Parenting … it took my breath away.

I wish I had a Mom to have told me this …

I hope I tell my children this through my actions, words and love  … everyday.

Have a fantastic weekend!

At one point, all my children were busy either outside or sleeping. It was strange and oddly lonely. I watched tv for the first time in forever. It was nice to just relax and be. I have been going going going for a while now. Some of the neighbourhood kids even came over and played in the afternoon.

Ethan had so much fun on the morning, he crashed for a nap (the first one in forever). It was so much fun seeing the kids love the outdoors. Not once did they watch television or proclaim they were bored. My kids are so awesome.

I had a massive headache this morning. For the first time I was unable to complete my workout this morning. I staggered back to bed in tears. I hate failing. My sweet husband, got the kids up, ready for school and walked Becs to school then headed to work. I slept in. It was beautiful. I am still feeling off, but was able to do my workout right before lunch. Cordi watched and almost fell asleep, while Ethan was upstairs looking at books. But I got it done and worked hard at it, so I feel better in that aspect.

My internet has been wonky the last few weeks. Dropping out, or slower than a  herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. It is really frustrating and since i have like no time for internet anyway, it has really prevented me from commenting. I am reading in reader but then I do not have time to sit with a computer that is acting like a PC on dial up in 1994. I have to find the time (HAHAHA) to fix the issue.

How do you find the time to do it all?