I am really starting to wonder if after 4 years of blogging, I am not just done. Maybe I am blogged out. Maybe there is nothing left to say. This week has been oddly emotional and not really all that great for me. I am not sure what has taken me to such negative energy, but it has been very difficult to shake.

Ethan’s birthday was lovely. I did indeed bake him a car cake, although Becca described it as a “funny looking ‘Mator tow truck” (it was suppose to be a race car). Sunday we cruised to the ever famous Peggy’s Cove to hike a little. The wind was bitter and Ethan was not really all that impressed. It was beautiful and I would love to experience it again. We then cruised home, had lunch and cake then headed to the playground to play. Perfect day to turn one.

My birthday was, well let’s just say I got a “do-over” the next day. The do-over was spent with my family, enjoying the day, shopping and pigging out on Chinese food. I am thankful for the do-over, but a little sad that it was necessary. This is life though. Sometimes. It Sucks.

On Thursday, just to make that negative energy breed like bunnies, I went for my annual physical and Ethan went in for his one year appointment. Both of us left not feeling very well. Ethan was always referred to as a “WHAT A BIG BOOOYYYEEEE” has now dropped below the 50th percentile for weight and at the 50th percentile for height. This bothers me. A lot. We are going back in a month to see if he is growing at a good rate, just slowed down, or if he is losing weight. He is a very busy baby and I am hoping that with a little extra effort on our part he will gain weight and give me one less thing to worry about. The doctor also commented that Ethan looked pale, but when comparing my very white skin to his, it appears that is our colour.

My blood pressure was crazy high. Well the bottom number was … the top number is great. This is a health issue that is new to me. I have always had normal blood pressure (expect when pregnant). We did have Chinese the night before (something we rarely eat) and some chips as we watched a movie (I never have chips anymore). See me rationalizing?!?! The doctor told me to cut out the salties and check at the drugstore blood pressure thing (he did state they were not all that reliable but if they can show a decrease/increase). I need to lose some more weight. ugh. This move has really stalled the effort, so I need to get back at it. I am determined to get into better shape.

That leads me to the scatter I feel my being is at. I want to accomplish so much that I am being torn into bits. Add the two kids, a husband and zero support and I am tapped out. I feel not whole. I trying to find ways to ground myself. I miss my friends that are scattered throughout North America. It takes time to forge relationships in a new place and I am finding with all my other”issues” I am not open and grounded to forge ahead.  I am trying to focus on what matters and tune out the noise. Sometimes I can … sometimes not so much.

Well, it is that time of year again. The time to reflect on the past and look forward to what is to come. This will be a two part post. The second part will focus on the year to come. Right now I want to look back at this amazing year.

The year 2007 has seen the Soodz clan live to two different states & two different countries! Plus we have added new members to the family and lost a member. It has been a year of grief and loss, but also a year to celebrate and gains. We have watched our children grow, as we too have gotten older and hopefully a little wiser.

January we were in California, pregnant and happy. Becca and I were adventurous and enjoying time with new friends. We enjoyed trips to Disneyland and the zoo. I was knitting and enjoying time with Marina and Holly. We also welcomed some fellow Canadians to California!

February was a warm month in California. Becca swam in our little yard, in her kiddie pool (something tells me we will NOT be swimming outside in February here in Canada)

March was my baby shower for Ethan, it was so amazing to be surrounded by so many mothers and celebrate. Some of those women I never saw again

April was all about Ethan! He arrived with perfect timing and left us in awe and bliss. J’s Mom stayed with us to help out and we learned how to be a family of four.

May was a flurry of play dates, adventures and visiting. I was trying to experience it all before we left California. My Dad came for a visit and to meet his new Grandson.

June we celebrated Becca’s third birthday early with all her friends. It was a wonderful pool party, perfect celebration of our time in California.

July we arrived in New Mexico. Our stuff did not.

August we went on our first family camping trip. It was so FUN! We adopted Skippy the Alley Cat. I injured my foot pretty badly, then limped to many chiropractor appointments to get back on both feet.

September my Dad came to New Mexico for a visit. We also said good bye to our dear sweet cat, Charisma and watched as Becca’s heart broke. J went for an interview in Nova Scotia for a tenure track professor position.

October was a blur. J was offered a position in Nova Scotia … to start January 2008. Started Packing. We celebrated Ethan’s first Halloween in style. Ethan as a Hot Dog and Becca as a butterfly.

November we continued to prepare for our trek back to Canada. Said our good byes in New Mexico.

December we made it home. Our stuff arrived in tact and on time. Sadly our car has not. It is on a train in Ontario and has been for almost two weeks. ugh. We have enjoyed the snowy walks and adventures with the children. Ethan’s first Christmas ws magical. Becca received a call from Santa and believes in all the magic Christmas has to offer. We even had friends come to visit us in our new home.

We have finally arrived.

We shall begin.

That is a very brief recap of our year … Now for a visual … Happy New Year Everyone …

An old friend from university found me on Facebook last night and asked, where I was and what I was up to. It was so freaking weird to type, “Well at the moment I am in a motel in Albuquerque.” Although I am quite sure she meant like in life, but I had to answer literally.

I am in shock. Today we embark on returning home. I have slept my last night in the US and from now on (excluding some future holiday) I will be sleeping in my own country. It is yet to be 6 am but I feel like that Disneyland commercial where the kids can’t sleep “We’re too EXCITED” and the parents are giggling ’cause they are not sleeping either.

The first leg of our journey started off slow. I was burning out, packing, cleaning, caring for the children. So J & I had a bit more to clean and organize before leaving the townhouse. Ummm yeah and we forgot the baby’s food! Good thing he is still not eating a ton. I am sure I have seen baby food for sale in airports.

Oh my gosh, so we had to rent a vehicle to get off the Hill and to the airport. The rental place did not have what we had requested so they gave us a pimped out Suburban! J came home after picking it up and was all … “I feel like Tony Sorprano”. No joke. It was wild and quite luring to drive such a beast. My inner environmentalist was crying but damn it was kinda cool.

So today we head to the airport, flying into Chicago first then after a layover off to Halifax. Thankfully our waiting times are meal times, so after checking in early here at the airport we can have lunch, then in Chicago have supper. Kids are so less cranky when well watered and fed, much like house plants just nosier. hehe.

The cat has been traveling well. He was pretty spazed when we took him out of the carrier in the motel. Becca is pleased that indeed we are bringing him and that Skippyjon is doing so well.

I have some presents and surprises for Becca (And Ethan but really as long as he can breastfeed and be close enough to touch me he is fine) for the flights. She is beside herself with excitement. I have given her a few things since 99.9% of her toys are on the moving truck. She is so cute…”Is it a cat???? It is a cat .. a baby cat.” Why did I not just buy cats???

I am so excited! ugh Now I have the Sorpranos theme song stuck in my head …. “Woke up this morning … “

It feels like we just uprooted ourselves, oh wait yeah we just did. Honestly, the roots here are not as deep as they were in California. Less time I suppose. Yet, today as I watched my daughter dance and follow the instructions of another, I had a little mistiness in my eyes. Becca has grown so much here. Ethan too, my gosh my baby is big! I have shrunk (34 lbs and counting), and suffered through the weirdness of this place. So leaving is bittersweet. I am very grateful that chances are, we will not be relocating again. Halifax will be home.

Becca, Ethan and I have been making our rounds, saying good bye to the people that so generously welcomed us into their community. It must be a sacrafice to open their world to strangers only to have them leave again. There are a lot of post-docs here so it happens often.

This place is such an anomaly.  How often are people placed on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere? Top that with 90% of these people are hard core physicists, computer gurus and other intense science types. I had never met a “nuclear physicist” till we lived here. Now I have met six! Nerds are at every corner, and I am talking NERDS. Not geeks. I am a geek. Nerds that cannot make eye contact without getting nervous and sweaty. Thick glasses, heavy on the sunscreen, pants pulled up past their belly buttons, sun hats with the flaps to provide full protection. I kid you not. Then there are the grey haired, bearded, bumper sticker on their Subaru’s hippy like folks, intellects from the 60′ & 70’s, saving the planet one recycled can at a time. This is the birth place of the atomic bomb.  Many wives before me, sent their husbands off to “The Lab” becoming completely cut off from them. That is something I was not ready for. Universities are open by nature. I could pop by and see J anytime I wanted. Here. I have never seen his lab. I am a foreign national, never to have clearance to step foot there. This is something I will not miss.

Alas for now I will say my good byes. Three more sleeps in this country. It seems so surreal.

So J has been home the past couple days due to Thanksgiving down here. He is going in today to work, however. No rest for the chemist. We have been working our tail feathers off trying to get all our stuff ready for the big move. My goal is to have everything ready by Tuesday so I am not stressing out right before the movers show up. J is working all next week, so it is me and the kids directing traffic.

So super pissy news. We have had issues with the company that will be transporting our car not contacting us and letting us know what the gig is. Yeah that is because they plan on having our car for THREE weeks. Nice. Yup our little American car is going to see Vancouver then all the Canadian countryside by train. I have the worst luck with moving companies.

So we will becoming intimate with Halifax’s Metro system. Becca is really excited about riding on a bus and since we will be doing a lot of walking and metroing it will be nice to check it out.

So for Thanksgiving we ordered a meal through our supermarket. After Ethan’s birth Holly had brought us a similar meal. Seriously people these meals, although not as good as Grandma’s (like anything really could compete) are awesome. I will not have to cook like till Tuesday! w00t!

Oh and because we do not have enough stuff *sigh* we went out on Black Friday to score some more! Since it snowed here like two inches we did not make it down the Hill until 9:30 Am. The sleeping bag I wanted to score was gone from Target, but we found a pretty cool alternative. So that covers beds for all of us until we have furniture again!

Becca has enjoyed the snow. I was getting Ethan down for a nap, but J was saying she was having issues with snow being … cold. Poor girl. I knit her a toque and mittens, but I fear the mittens are not ideal. Need more cuff. It was my first pair, live, knit, learn.

It would be awesome to share some pictures, however I am lucky to have time to read emails, much less take and upload, pictures. Sorry. Hope to catch up once we are there. We will be without much so I figure I will have time.

3 days till the movers come.

7 days till we fly home.

wow.