Lately I find myself going through the motions. I have a lot to be happy for yet I wasn’t feeling it. J & I spent many evenings early this holiday season trying to talk through it. I was desperate to find out why I wasn’t feeling happy.
I wanted to feel as happy as I should. I was sent a copy of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin to review just before Christmas, so I started reading it in hopes it would give me some motivation.
I wondered as I began what I, a stay at home mom living in Canada, would have in common with a well-to-do writer living in New York City. I was amazed to discover a lot and not so much. However I have really connected with The Happiness Project.
In the last week changed my approach so much that it freaks me out a little. My husband seems happier, my kids are happier … I feel happier. I wonder now how J & the kids were putting up with me before I put the effort in.
Gretchen Rubin takes a scientific/research approach to figure out her Happiness Project . Seriously, this woman reads A LOT. That really clicked with my psychology background, and I was thrilled with all the stats in this book. I enjoyed how all the happiness studies, books, memoir’s and personal reflections she gathered fit together. Somehow, the author pulled off being scientific and emotionally raw and exposed at the same time (and still kept my attention, whereas most “Self-help” books do not).
Seriously if you are feeling off track, like you are going through the motions and not experiencing the happiness that surrounds you, go get this book. The Happiness Project. I cannot proclaim that it has all the solutions, however Grechen Ruben has collected up some amazing ideas, tools and ways to get your happiness back.
Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project is divided into 12 months, in which each month she focused on one of her resolutions. In honour of this, since I feel so inspired by the book, I am taking a similar approach the my New Year’s resolutions.
This month I am starting to change my lifestyle. I am not satisfied with my body, I need more energy to tackle my life everyday and I want to feel good about myself again. One aspect that Gretchen Rubin writes about that I particularly connected with was chart-keeping. A way to give myself a check or “gold star” for doing what I set out to do. There was a Simpson’s episode once where Lisa, proclaimed “GRADE ME GRADE ME GRADE ME GRADE ME GRADE ME”. Sure it would be grand if I did not need that external gratification, that I could make a goal and keep it for internal motivations only. But that is not me.
Give me a grade.
So I am going to chart three things in January (and beyond but this is where I start until it is a habit).
- Go to bed earlier.
- No snacks after 7pm.
- Exercise Daily.
I cannot express how empowered and happy I feel making this decision, planning it, and doing it. As I learned in Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, studies show that the process of achieving the goal is part of the happiness. I never really got that before.
So not only did Gretchen Rubin write an amazing book about achieving happiness, she maintains a blog that is fabulous. I have subscribed, knowing it will help me stay on track. Be sure to check out both the blog and the book … seriously.
What are your resolutions this year? Do you have your own happiness project?
A Canadian mom with three cute kids. This blog chronicles our lives my creative pursuits. 
I’ve been seeing that book everwhere and, honestly, it’s been a little annoying, a bit too much of a marketing push for me. But, if you liked it, perhaps I’ll get myself on the waiting list at the library. There’s sure to be a list.
I have an ongoing self-care resolution, continue wih my weight loss (57 lbs since March) and the harder/scary part, maintain it once I get to my goal weight, regular exercise, which I vary with success on (I was doing well until Christmas vacation, changes in schedule kill me), mental health time (something I’m horrible at and need to figure out).
Holly´s last blog ..Another Decade
That sounds prett awesome.
Sometimes I think happiness is overrated. It isn’t attainable all the time. I strive for content with moments of happiness.
I look forward to hearing how you find this journey.
Brie´s last blog ..A decade
Your goals sound great. I wish you much success in accomplishing them.
Heather´s last blog ..Goodbye 2009!
I have that book sitting in my room waiting to be read for review but haven’t opened it. Dang Kindle!
nicole @ much more than a mom´s last blog ..OCD Haiku
I was just writing a post about needing more gratitude in my life and happiness.I will have to check out this book. Looks amazing. Great gaols.
Great recommendation–I went and reserved my copy at the library. Also, have you read The Geography of Bliss? I think you may enjoy it as well.
You are inspiring me here–number one, you are very honest, and that gets my attention; but number two, you’re taking steps to feel better. I’m at the point right now of not being happy with my body, either. As much as I hate New Year’s resolutions, I need to resolve to go back to food journaling, as it keeps me honest. Thank you for this!
Jocelyn´s last blog ..
That’s awesome that you took that approach. Sometimes as parent, wives…etc. We forget about ourselves and making everyone else around us happy. I personally love running and rock climbing they were the two things that seemed to bring me the most happiness. I am running (so far 9 miles this week). R doesn’t want me to go rock climbing without him which irks me to be honest but he’s having surgery on his shoulder which means I have to wait. I figure during that time I’ll focus on my core workouts and yoga to strengthen my running and form. So when it comes to the climbing i’ll be able to do it with ease. Another thing I decided to do this year was to set realistic goals
i can’t wait to see what you accomplish this year Chelle!
Char´s last blog ..The near perfect day.
that’s an inspiring resolution! just wanna share,Recently I had my own shot at defining happiness, which aims to be more “scientific” and “objective” (as much as this is possible for a subjective feeling such as happiness): “A person can be considered to have experienced a “happy” moment if the person chooses to re-live it as an end in itself if offered at no cost.”
For the detailed derivation of this conclusion please have a look at What is happiness? ; What do you think about this definition?
Thank you, Nick