I want, I want, I want
grrr … Remember when the car wouldn’t start? We had initially thought it was the battery, so we replaced that. ugh. We were partially right?!?! I took the kids down late yesterday afternoon, only to discover, even though it like -2 C the little piece of … The car would not start. It takes a lot of energy, both physical and mental to get two kids ready, winter gear, carry one, drag the other down the stairs to the car. I was so annoyed. We were headed out to pick J up from work, alas we could not.
J theorizes it is the starter or something. We have to get the … car inspected as a final step to import it, so once we get it going again we can take it to Canadian Tire (mechanic place) to get the new part too. To be fair (I have a detest for this car) this is the second “fix” we have had to do since buying it two years ago. So it is not a complete lemon. grr. The car continues to run to spite me and then does not run when I want it to.
This probably squashes any weekend plans I would have created. grr.
I am struggling with a balance. I want stuff. I want to be “normal” with stuff. I do not want to be the weird family anymore. I have put my time in, now show me the money. Unfortunately, it is not like that. J’s dream job is wicked awesome, however it does not pay fan-frikin’-tastic right out the gate. So we are just getting started. Most people start off, no kids, two incomes, pay off the student loans, buy a house, a car, curtains … well I could not wait for kids. I am more than happy with our decision to start our family when J was still in school, however it makes it a little rough with the coin. Or rather the lack thereof.
So I must balance. Not to say I am not spoiled, or that the children are in need. Sometimes I feel like if I want all this stuff, somehow I do not apprecaite what I have. I am so lucky to be able to stay at home. Not everyone can do what we do. The sacrifices we make as a family so I can be here everyday with the children are huge. In part, because we did nto have the two income, no kids life, we do not really know what we are missing. Besides with the writers on strike, not having cable at the moment doesn’t seem like a loss 
Still … I want. I want. I want … I feel like a three year old. It doesn’t help that I set out a budget and the “spending $” section was pretty sparse. I have no regrets. Yet I want more. To get more I would have to a) Get a Job and leave the children or b) Wait.
Waiting sucks.
It really is a matter of me getting accustomed to our new life, our new city, our new everything. Takes time. So why do I feel like time is slipping away from me?
January 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am
We met (again), got married QUICKLY, got married on our honeymoon and then there was three of us, one SMALL income and $60 grand in student loans. It was HARD for the first couple of years!
The stuff will come. Really. It DOES get easier. And you’re not the “weird” family, I promise. Many, many, many young families are right where you are.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I know, I know, I know…
You’re not spoiled, you’ve been through a whole helluva lot lately.
It’s your time. And it will come. You so deserve to BE spoiled!
Hugs to you sister.
(Those pictures are fantastic too!)
January 24th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I hear you. I want too. But I don’t think we’ll ever get.
January 24th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I want too. Usually I’m ok but then there are times when I cry because I really do want a new bedroom set and other things for the house… to make it feel like home and not just a place to hold our stuff until we get orders to move to the next duty station. I want to feel settled in and I think having more stuff would help but military income in California means we have to wait or I have to get a job. We’ve talked about me going back to work but Beetle hates the thought of us missing opportunities to be together because we want stuff we don’t need… and I agree with him. I’d rather spend my time with him than with new curtains, you know? Altho, I really really would like new curtains… and I’d like them to be straight for once! Gah.
PS. That sooo sucks about your car. Did you check the spark plugs? I don’t know anything about cars but I do know the only times my old car would not start was because of the spark plugs… and they only cost a few cents to replace.
January 24th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Hang in there. I get the I wants especially bad in a yarn store. Eventually there will come a time when you can splurge and buy what ever new and fancy Apple gadget was introduced that year.
January 24th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
You are completely normal! The wanting never goes away, even with two incomes. Everyone has a budget (well, not Gates maybe, but you know…)
January 24th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Starting over so many times is tough. You leave stuff behind. Even if it’s not the nicest stuff, because you know you have to leave it behind, it’s your stuff.
How close are you to the U.S. border; rabbit ears are making a comeback. Because of the whole everyone has to have HD tv nonsense, because Americans must have t.v., the American government is subsidizing HD antennaes to get access to television to those who can’t afford it. It makes them about $40, but you would have to watch American television (I assume). Seriously, you can’t make this sh@t up. Ethan’s American.
I know it sounds trite, but it will seem better when you are settled in and in the spring, when you can be out more comfortably.
Hugs.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
We did the DINK thing (double income no kids) and now down to one income …. I can totally see how sometimes ignorance is bliss! It is HARD! One of my goals this year is to also really knuckle down … we have a budget, but then something (usually a car thing!) crops up and there it all goes!
Nothing though can buy the amount of satisfaction and quality of life that comes with being a SAHM. It’s awesome. Even if I have to “make do” with the same sandals I bought 4 summers ago …… sigh.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Been a long while since i’ve been here, wow have your kids grown
January 24th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Indeed, patience isn’t one of my strengths either. A couple of decades ago I worked full time when I only had my eldest daughter, that wasn’t ideal either.
Best wishes
January 24th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Hehe. Anyway your car could be related to mine? Sorry yours is giving you fits. Seems lately everything with a motor is rebelling against me.
Waiting does suck sometime. Geez, I hate to sound clique, but “good things to those who wait.”
January 24th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I am so TOTALLY with you on the waiting. My honey is on career #3 (3? maybe 4) and if he had started the current one right after college he would be making the big bucks now.
But if he had started right after college we would never have met, fallen madly in love, married, created 3 awesome kids, etc. etc. etc.
Plus it is kind cool at uptight cocktail parties with real estate attorneys to hear my honey say “when I ran a housing program for persons with AIDS….”
Don’t feel bad about wanting. Don’t feel bad at all.
January 24th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I hear ya, Hun. I hear ya.
January 25th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I want , I want, I want too!! lol! And we have 2 incomes so it doesn’t matter. The more money you make the more you spend. I would like to have furniture for our new house, but alas, our house will be empty upstairs & only the family room will have furniture. Maybe in a few months.. i’m like you, i hate waiting…
As to the car, do you plug it in? My parents had a car with the same problem when it was super cold & it was all solved by just plugging it in for the night. Oh wait, I just realized you may not be able to plug it in since you’re in an apartment. hmm… well, whatever it is, hope it won’t cost much to fix.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:15 am
I second (wait, 13th?) the you are not a weird family and agree that waiting sucks! We are staying with family and it feels like we are newlyweds - but we have a mortgage, car payment, etc and feeling like we are starting over blows!
At least the kids we have all took the time to create are so adorable.
LOL
January 25th, 2008 at 2:06 am
I hear ya sister! We’re going on a DECADE of the same income! The first five were the musician’s dream, the last…the chemist’s! One day, our patience will pay off!
January 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I’ve been reading through your blog, and first of all, you have some GREAT looking kids! Secondly, my hair is natural curly as well, and I hated it growing up! I kept it really short because I couldn’t control. I’ve grown it out, just past my shoulders, and I actually like it now cause it is SO easy to style. I think we’re lucky!
Also, what is Wordless Wednesday. Can you explain this to me?
Great blog!
January 25th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I think we all go through those feelings at one time or another. I am always “wanting.”
That stinks about the car!
January 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
That sucks about your car! Hope you can get it fixed soon.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I say its normal to want more…Isn’t that what we were taught as little kids — to reach for the skies!
On rough days - just know that the kids will mostly remember those fun days they had with you and J at home. And as I always tell my children. We are very rich. Very rich in LOVE that is. Sounds corny - but they say it back to us and we melt.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I know — it’s hard to go without the things you really want, especially when you see that others have them. My husband and I make sure to live within our means, though, without going into a lot of debt just buying stuff. Sometimes things are just so tempting, thought!
It’s fun to see Becca without her glasses!