As soon as I hit *Publish* I felt a little better. Minor melt down today when we missed Fedex *sigh* Trying not to feel like nothing is going my way.

There are many things going my way and darn it J is here, living his dream. This is what we have worked so hard to achieve. There are many that J went to school with that have went down other roads, due to lack of jobs or timing. J is one of the elite, the lucky in timing (yet still totally awesome too, he deserves this job, he has worked UBER hard, just saying many have worked just as hard and not made it).

I am thankful. I am so so happy. But I am also so very tired of “making the best of it”, “looking on the bright side”, “Being creative”, and “Doing the best I can”. I know that in a month, I will be slipping tea, knitting, watching my children quietly playing or reading, while my husband marks exams … content, happy … peaceful. It is hard to remember that ALL the time. I am trying. I am trying to remember that this is the beginning of an amazing journey. A journey that will be our LIVES. Not an adventure we are on, not a pit stop to the end … this is IT. So I need to breath. Enjoy. Need to knit. Have not knit in a while. No time … BAD, need to knit.

I am working on a scarf from the wool I purchased at the Taos Wool Festival. It is so soft in my hands. I am thrilled to think of it wrapped around my neck, warming my soul outwards to my skin. I will take some pictures once I get further along, when the wool stops curling and relaxes a little.

Even thinking of something so simple as knitting calms me. It is hard to stay focused when the world around you is so empty, new, intimidating, cold, and unfamilar.

Little things you notice. I have yet to see a Starbucks. I have seen a cup in someone’s hand, they are here, but not here. We are no longer immersed in many cultures and walks of life. Everyone … is the same. I am sure once we get out more and see more it may change, but it is not like Southern California or New Mexico where most of the time we were the minorities. We are home, yet we feel a little out of place. We have yet to be here a week. Breath.

We rented a car for the weekend. My sweet husband is taking us out to get some supplies. To escape from our bare lives into Canadian culture. Maybe catch Santa at the mall, see if we can find a yarn shop and sit on anything but the floor.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. You all rock. The emails and phone calls so make me feel warm and fuzzy. Stay warm and have a great weekend!

Ok I am pretty positive person. I really try to look at the bright side, turn it into an adventure but damn it this move is kicking the crap out of me.

First off, we discovered today that we lost Becca’s backpack. THE backpack that had her most cherished items, her plastic cats, panda family and other items that she holds VERY dear to her heart. In all the chaos we lost it. Where? No clue. We called everywhere and not one responded positively. I so do not have the guts to tell her. In all the craziness she has yet to notice/remember that she had it and that it is now VANISHED without a trace. Every time I think about it I want to throw up.

Then I thought “oh let’s check to see where the car is”. The car transport company has a tracking system. Ummm yeah it may not be till the NEW YEAR. WHAT!??!??! I have to take the frikin bus in the snow and cold for a month?!?!? Yup called to confirm. . . .My life sucks. I hate my life. I hate that we have no furniture, that our car is somewhere but not here, that Becca’s favourite toys are gone, that our moving coordinator SCREWED us over and over and we have no power whatsoever. I hate that we have no money so renting a car is not an option. I hate that we will not know when the truck with our Christmas presents will be here. I hate that I have to disappoint my kids OVER AND OVER. This sucks. There is no frikin bright side.

Oh yeah and then as we were doing our first load of laundry ’cause we have a baby and a preschooler and have to do tons, we smell FIRE. There goes the washer motor. SO we call … maintence dude comes to tell us yes it is fried so he will have to call someone else to fix it. Ten minutes later “BANG BANG BANG” … “Is there flooding!?!?” The overflow drain is leaking water to the apartment below (Becca was in the tub and she creates a lot of waves so water was going into the over flow and leaking)!

On a lighter note … we received our first Christmas card … Thank You Kris, it made me smile despite it all. I know that Christmas will be wonderful even if we have nothing, we are together and we are in Canada.

Fuck a Duck.

sorry Grandma

We made it!

In typical American fashion our flight was delayed. Like hard care. We arrived at the airport to discover that all flights to Chicago were delayed due to weather. ugh. So our flight was three hours late. We arrived in Chicago, got off the plane … then turned around and got back on the same plane to Halifax!

This meant no dinner. That made for a cranky mom kid, but we improvised with homemade muffins and cookies (J totally raised an eyebrow when I baked them before our trip, but I knew they would be eaten!)

Upon arriving uber late in Halifax, we kept the poor customs officers working then discovered they did not have a taxi large enough for our brood. We waited.

Both kids passed out in the meantime then we finally headed to our hotel. We just hit the pillow, I was asleep and the frikin fire alarm went off.

Dragging I was about to get the kids (if there was a fire I think may have been toast), when they announced it was a false alarm. ugh. Not cool.

After a good sleep, we headed to our new apartment!!!!!! It is AWESOME> Super nice, new carpets, all painted…gorgeous!!! I will be sure to take pictures tomorrow.

It is snowing like a banshee here. Becca loves it! It is not really that cold. We took the metro back from the apartment, Becca really enjoyed the bus.

Everything is so CANADIAN> Everyone is super nice. Oh it is so good to be home.

More later my tummy is a grumbling …

An old friend from university found me on Facebook last night and asked, where I was and what I was up to. It was so freaking weird to type, “Well at the moment I am in a motel in Albuquerque.” Although I am quite sure she meant like in life, but I had to answer literally.

I am in shock. Today we embark on returning home. I have slept my last night in the US and from now on (excluding some future holiday) I will be sleeping in my own country. It is yet to be 6 am but I feel like that Disneyland commercial where the kids can’t sleep “We’re too EXCITED” and the parents are giggling ’cause they are not sleeping either.

The first leg of our journey started off slow. I was burning out, packing, cleaning, caring for the children. So J & I had a bit more to clean and organize before leaving the townhouse. Ummm yeah and we forgot the baby’s food! Good thing he is still not eating a ton. I am sure I have seen baby food for sale in airports.

Oh my gosh, so we had to rent a vehicle to get off the Hill and to the airport. The rental place did not have what we had requested so they gave us a pimped out Suburban! J came home after picking it up and was all … “I feel like Tony Sorprano”. No joke. It was wild and quite luring to drive such a beast. My inner environmentalist was crying but damn it was kinda cool.

So today we head to the airport, flying into Chicago first then after a layover off to Halifax. Thankfully our waiting times are meal times, so after checking in early here at the airport we can have lunch, then in Chicago have supper. Kids are so less cranky when well watered and fed, much like house plants just nosier. hehe.

The cat has been traveling well. He was pretty spazed when we took him out of the carrier in the motel. Becca is pleased that indeed we are bringing him and that Skippyjon is doing so well.

I have some presents and surprises for Becca (And Ethan but really as long as he can breastfeed and be close enough to touch me he is fine) for the flights. She is beside herself with excitement. I have given her a few things since 99.9% of her toys are on the moving truck. She is so cute…”Is it a cat???? It is a cat .. a baby cat.” Why did I not just buy cats???

I am so excited! ugh Now I have the Sorpranos theme song stuck in my head …. “Woke up this morning … “