Wow I Have Two Kids!?!?
Pics of the Day ~ Ethan - One Week and Becca - Two Weeks ~
The reality of having two kids has barely sunk in. I haven’t much time to let it soak in. I keep thinking once we get to New Mexico, all I will have is time. Time to think, play … time alone. I try to live life so I have few regrets. I was a “Live life like your going to die young” kind of girl, when I was young and well stupid. Now I want to feel like I did it right, or at least well. I feel good that I have made the effort with my dear, sweet friends here in California. It is so easy to get lost in routines, chores and errands. Days, weeks, months go by and friend wither and fade away. It happens. I am terrible at times staying in touch. I am a touch diva. All about me. So it is easy to get forgetful, neglectful (emails oh the emails I should be replying to!)
Then I have these moments with Ethan and Becca which flood me with emotion. They are so different, yet so similar. My love for the two of them is bountiful, overwhelming and magical. Ethan is a baby so strange and unfamiliar, yet wondrous. Becca was so tiny. Weighing just shy of 5lbs at birth, 5 weeks too soon … She was fragile, yet content. Ethan is strong, strapping and enchanting. He is so involved, intertwined into our lives. Ethan watches Becca with a wonder in his eyes only reserved for her. He looks for me when he is not in my arms, and the way in which he gazes at his father makes my heart flutter.
Ethan smiles, lifts his head and sends a great deal of time on his tummy. I remember longing for, worrying and losing sleep wondering when, how, if ever Becca could/would do things at this age. Once she was about 6 months old, that worry lessened as she became less preemie, more baby. I do not even want to admit how many times I took Becca’s temperature that first 6 months (and not once did she have a fever!)
I do not worry for Ethan. Not like that. Sure his poop and spit up concern me, but he is gaining weight, is happy and content. We go through our days blissful, without fretting or concern. I recall freaking out because Becca was crying. It was not her regular cry. It had a desperation in it, a fear, a pain. I called J and he RAN home. I had tried everything to sooth the little baby, changed her, tried to nurse her, bounce her, pat her … I placed her in the car seat, strapped her in and started to drive … silence … the pediatrician assured us with a slight smirk the baby was fine since it had indeed stopped crying.
Becca tripped last night while we were all on the floor chilling out as a family. She particially landed on Ethan, causing Ethan to SCREAM. He was scared and hurt. I did not react, I reassured Becca she had done no wrong and soothed Ethan back to his normally peaceful state of being. It was a surreal experience. After Becca was in bed I was overwhelmed with emotion. I proctected both my children with my love simutanously. Something the last almost 8 weeks I did not think I was ever to master.
I have two children. I love them equally different. They are equally unique. They are so amazing.
Awww poor Becca she must have been crushed, but these things happen.
They look so similar in those pictures. I love looking at the girls baby pictures and seeing similiarities.
Morgyn was a crier when she was a baby too but only when we put her in the car and went some where, doesn’t that sound like fun
and a little backwards.
I love that little Ethan in that picture (like I haven’t said that before
) and Becca with her little baby stretch, sigh pulls the old heart strings.
Your kids are beautiful!
That was a great way to handle that situation! You go girl!
The last few posts have been wonderful to read.
Thanks for sharing. I wish I had your insight with my first two. Life would have been more mellow for us all.
What a beautiful post, Chelle! As we work towards adopting #2, I can’t help but fear the common, “Can I love two as much as I love my one?” fear. Thanks for reassuring me that there’s more than enough room in my heart for 2 precious children.
isn’t it just amazing how the 2 kids interact with each other? I used to worry about that, not sure why knowing that Nate is as laid back & easy going as Becca but yet, you still worry.
Anyways, I’m glad all is going really well with all of you & it’s so surprising how you react to these things when they happen. Way to go!
Wow, great post Chelle. I too feel differently about my kids but have never been able to put it into words. Thanks for sharing.
I remember when it was just Mark and I paid attention to EVERYTHING and noticed EVERYTHING. I had everything all scheduled out. It seemed SO HARD. Looking back it was all really calm and everything got done. Life is just different with 2 kids.
Your children are beautiful.
I am a first time mom and I am so fearful that I may be missing something on a daily basis. Each day goes by and we make it through and I feel more confident each day. I think that my son picks up on my fears and fustrations. I hope when I have another I will be more relaxed as well.
Good for you! You were meant to be a mommy!
Look at those babies! Sweeet.
That transition from being a mother of one child to a mother of two is HUGE!
As the oldest of six I often wondered how my mom could claim to love us all the same and equally. I believed her but didn’t understand it until I had my own children. Each is so precious and wonderful and unique. I love each one and appreciate their good qualities as much as the next.
Hi there,
We don’t know eachother but somehow or another your website has become part of my morning routine! Just wanted to let you know that you have inspired me beyond belief! My mom checked out as well, we live in the same town but don’t see eachother and we don’t speak. She has said she just ‘doesn’t get’ why she should still be a mom when I’m 32 years old! I’m planning a family and have always been afraid that I wouldn’t love my kids. After reading your story about your mom and the fact that you are such an amazing mother….I feel better. So thank you. Your family is beautiful.
Sadie
I can’t even tell you how cute I think those pictures are.
You have very lucky children to have a Mommy like you. You are suck a sweetheart and I want to hug you.
They look so much a like. Wow. That just blows me away, having only known the older Becca. Great post.
You gave me chills with this one, Chelle!
Beautiful post. Amazing how much they look alike in those pictures.
what a nice post, it’s neat to see into your life as a mom of two. i can’t wait to read about your adventures in new mexico, i am sure that it will be fun for both your kids to explore such a different landscape.
Wonderful! Whenever I think about what it would be like to have two children, I worry “How would I do this or that?” But maybe the answer just comes to you, as it seemed to have done for you when Becca tripped over Ethan. You’re a natural!
Navigating those early weeks and months was so hard. So much guilt and worry for me. It is so revelatory to have you share your journey and relive that time myself. You are such a wonderful mom and amazing blogging friend. Thank you for your comments, your cheer, and, of course, the beautiful photos. I can’t get over how much they look alike in those 1 and 2 week photos!
He is totally smiling in that picture! How cute.