… Our lives are never boring. J has received an official offer from the Los Alamos National Labs. w00t! We are on our way to New Mexico next month …

Or are we?

Pics of the Day ~ Ethan’s Smile Captured and Becca the Artist ~

Right before the offer arrived J received news that he had been short listed for an interview, for an academic position at Ryerson University, Toronto, ON!!! Of course this makes our lives a little less boring and drab (ha! Like it ever is geez!) We are super excited at the prospect of heading home! J appears to be a perfect fit to RU and they would be lucky to have him He will fly off to Toronto next week for the interview.

Chances are the position (although we do not know we are guessing) will not begin until next year. Therefore we will still be heading across state lines. Los Alamos is an exciting and excellent opportunity for J, so it is not a bad thing to move there, then have a job secured back home for next year.

All this news has put our lives into a tail spin! Preparing for J’s departure next week will not be fun. I am going to be all alone for THREE days with TWO children. Egads. I do have plans with friends for the second day so I am sure the time will fly.

We gave written notice that we were breaking our lease and moving yesterday. It is so surreal. J has to pass a drug test (haha) before we are approved to book a moving company. I am very excited about the moving company part, and very anxious. I am the kind of girl that likes to be in control. A moving company is a foreign concept to me. They swoop in do all the work, swoop our gear away AND unpack it once we find a place there? eep!

So much to do … decide … egads … I am going into Mom mode and going for a playdate … the rest can wait.

Pics of the Day ~ Ethan - One Week and Becca - Two Weeks ~

The reality of having two kids has barely sunk in. I haven’t much time to let it soak in. I keep thinking once we get to New Mexico, all I will have is time. Time to think, play … time alone. I try to live life so I have few regrets. I was a “Live life like your going to die young” kind of girl, when I was young and well stupid. Now I want to feel like I did it right, or at least well. I feel good that I have made the effort with my dear, sweet friends here in California. It is so easy to get lost in routines, chores and errands. Days, weeks, months go by and friend wither and fade away. It happens. I am terrible at times staying in touch. I am a touch diva. All about me. So it is easy to get forgetful, neglectful (emails oh the emails I should be replying to!)

Then I have these moments with Ethan and Becca which flood me with emotion. They are so different, yet so similar. My love for the two of them is bountiful, overwhelming and magical. Ethan is a baby so strange and unfamiliar, yet wondrous. Becca was so tiny. Weighing just shy of 5lbs at birth, 5 weeks too soon … She was fragile, yet content. Ethan is strong, strapping and enchanting. He is so involved, intertwined into our lives. Ethan watches Becca with a wonder in his eyes only reserved for her. He looks for me when he is not in my arms, and the way in which he gazes at his father makes my heart flutter.

Ethan smiles, lifts his head and sends a great deal of time on his tummy. I remember longing for, worrying and losing sleep wondering when, how, if ever Becca could/would do things at this age. Once she was about 6 months old, that worry lessened as she became less preemie, more baby. I do not even want to admit how many times I took Becca’s temperature that first 6 months (and not once did she have a fever!)

I do not worry for Ethan. Not like that. Sure his poop and spit up concern me, but he is gaining weight, is happy and content. We go through our days blissful, without fretting or concern. I recall freaking out because Becca was crying. It was not her regular cry. It had a desperation in it, a fear, a pain. I called J and he RAN home. I had tried everything to sooth the little baby, changed her, tried to nurse her, bounce her, pat her … I placed her in the car seat, strapped her in and started to drive … silence … the pediatrician assured us with a slight smirk the baby was fine since it had indeed stopped crying.

Becca tripped last night while we were all on the floor chilling out as a family. She particially landed on Ethan, causing Ethan to SCREAM. He was scared and hurt. I did not react, I reassured Becca she had done no wrong and soothed Ethan back to his normally peaceful state of being. It was a surreal experience. After Becca was in bed I was overwhelmed with emotion. I proctected both my children with my love simutanously. Something the last almost 8 weeks I did not think I was ever to master.

I have two children. I love them equally different. They are equally unique. They are so amazing.

Pics of the Day ~ Ethan and Becca ~

This week was a blur of Kleenex, playdates, bike rides and board games.

1. Becca started pedaling her bike! It was so exciting to see her do it on her own. She was so proud!
2.  I got my eyebrows waxed and a pedicure! The kids fell asleep yesterday while we were out shopping so J stayed with them and I darted in and was pampered. Oooo it felt so good!
3. I have slowly got some things done that I have been working on (aka Thank You cards and Birth Announcements … only 7 weeks later). Balancing two kids and trying to prepare to move from Southern California is harder than I would have ever imagined.
4. I was able to hang out with my friends together twice this week! Holly hosted an amazing playdate for Marina and I (we brought the kids too! hehe) Then this morning the three of us met up to knit! It was GREAT!
5. I am struggling to process some stuff, and I am grateful that J took the day off yesterday so we could hang out as a family. So we purchased CandyLand and had our first ever Family Game Night! Becca loved it and has requested to play Candyland repeatedly since! (may have to add to the kids games quick!)
6. Lastly I am grateful that I am almost fully recovered from that nasty killer cold. It was terrible.

Now I am all rested and ready for another adventurous week!

Pic of the Day  ~ Becca and Ethan Playing ~

My daughter has always been the one at playdates that has avoided trouble. If she found it, she was quiet about it. I rarely had to be on top of her to ensure she was behaving appropriately. Until yesterday.

When Becca turned two, I giggled to myself. My kid was not terrible. That happened to those kids. Not mine. I am not alone in this silly assumption! Holly too thought she had sailed by the terrible twos.

Now I am discovering that Terrible Twos, do not always happen at two. Oh no, that is to lull you into a false sense of security, allow you to believe that you are a rocking parent that is so above that! HAHAHA!

Not that Becca is being a total monster or anything. Rather she is just exhibiting more behaviours that need redirection or need time out of playing to rethink. Yesterday, we went to Holly’s and was joined by Joey and Chris as well. It was a wonderful time for the four kids, however a tad overwhelming for them too. I witnessed Becca throwing toys and sand at the other kids. So not her thing normally.

I repeatedly pulled her out of play to have her take a break, reminding Becca what appropriate behaviour is, and what it is not. I have never had to make her sit on a chair out of the action before! Usually if redirection is needed, I tell her to stop or do something different and she is cool with that.

Yet all week, her and I have not seen eye to eye. I am still fighting a cold, so I figured it was my lack of patience (which I am sure is part of it), yet there is more to it. My daughter wants to be bigger. She wants to explore more and more independence.

This is all good. It is a tough transition, especially right now. There is so much that is sucking my emotional energy. I am having trouble focusing on things that are important. Being sick is not helping. So much to do. I can be sick after we move.

On a lighter, happier note … J has been awarded another, more prestigious and valuable grant/fellowship through Los Alamos. We have yet to receive an offer for employment there but when we do his wage, as well as funding for conferences and the like will be covered by the fellowship.

Ethan is growing so much! He slept most of the day yesterday, allowing me to visit and knit, he is such a good boy (yet when we were dying yarn he HAD to be in the sling … ) His head strength is gathering and he holds his one on his tummy. Something his sister hated doing! He still experiences wicked bad gas pains, and shot his way out of a Huggies again yesterday (Hello Pampers!) I am so thankful we use cloth at home!

It is a long weekend here in the US. J is working, I am catching up on all the things that have gone to the wayside due to being sick and busy this week. w00t. I also have to get planning for Becca’s birthday party that we will be celebrating in a  couple weeks. Any fab ideas for an almost three year old’s pool party? The kid NEEDS a pinata (damn you Skippyjon Jones!), so I will be exploring the art of paper mache. I think I might want to bake her cake this year, but that is linked to time available.

Any big plans for the weekend?

I never did reveal my birthday present! J & my Dad went in together and purchased a cute red Nano! Life was so crazy back then!

Mama Lee at Full Plate, tagged me for a music meme (BEFORE Ethan was born … bad blogger BAD):

Guidelines: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what they are. They must be songs you are presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

Dudes … This is going to be a tad embarrassing. See I am so out of the loop when it comes to music. Like really really bad. Without Much Music (really MTV … sucks in comparison all it is is reality tv … no music!?! How did video kill the radio star?) I feel lost. I have yet to find a good rock station down here. One thing about Detroit … they know their rock! So yeah I have a thousand excuses why I suck at the moment, and really I need to get back into the music loop … Let’s hope the developments in our world help out my cool factor *wink*

Here is my Seven Songs (as per what is played most on my iPod minus the Winnie the Pooh Soundtrack!)

1. Upside Down - Jack Johnson (so last year!)

2. Poison - Alice Cooper (I adore listening to this while doing the dishes … don’t ask!)

3. I want you to want me - Cheap Trick (J makes fun of me but I heart this song!)

4. Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day (somewhat cool, right they are still cool right!??!)

5. Run off to LA - Kid Rock (I am sure I have mentioned my obsession with this bad boy … Marz & I even saw him in concert together hehe good times!)

6. Life Wasted - Pearl Jam (old school cool)

7. Don’t Cry - Guns N’ Roses (who doesn’t have the Guns in their top 7?!?!)

I am a terrible tagger … So please play along if you wish. And all you cool peeps out there … What are YOU listening to? I am seriously feeling uber uncool.

I finally updated my knitting blog … I posted pics of the yarn we dyed if you want to peak!