I have become a knitting fiend. I am constantly looking to the next project and adoring all the cute patterns and fun things to learn to do. When I saw these ever so cute Ugg Booties on DIY.com, I knew I had to knit them! I have just started the second bootie and it really did not take me long to finish the first! I am still working on Becca’s pants, in fact I started the first leg today! I posted a few pics in our flickr account.

Speaking of knitting. Becca and I headed to Marina’s house to play and knit! Becca had a wonderful time playing with the boys. Her kids are so nice and cute! It was fun to be around two boys! She had snacks for the kids, and Becca had the opportunity to play with real play dough! hehe! I like the homemade stuff better. In fact, while Becca was snoozing, I made two fresh batches of play dough!

It was hellishly windy today. There were times while I was driving home that I could barely see through the dust and garbage! It was a little scary, but Becca stayed awake and kept me company.

Becca and napping. *sigh* The last few days she has been a little odd. I put her down for a sleep after lunch as always. She settles in then proceeds to chat and play with her animals for over an HOUR! I go in there and remind her that it is time to sleep and she whines a little then eventually settles down. This is all fine, except the kid still needs a good two hour nap, so she sleeps until 5 pm! Not good! I have no clue how to fix this. I am considering shifting her nap time a little later, maybe just enough so she is more tired?!?! She cannot give up MY quiet time I tell you. This is so not about her….It is all about me me me! Any ideas!?!?

If your really really good internets I will post some protruding, belly pictures for you by the weekend…. 

Pic of the Day ~ Waiting ever so Patiently Becca ~

w00t I had another Obstetrician appointment today! J & Becca joined me this time, so we all went to their new swank building. It was cute, they have only been in the new building for a day and the nurses, even the doctor grumbled about the change! Everything is GREAT! The doctor is really happy with everything, my blood pressure is the lowest EVER, the baby’s heart beat is awesome and I did not even gain too much this time! The sugar test had not made it over to the new offices but I am sure if it was bad it would have. Now 17 days till the ultrasound!!! WEEEE! Sometimes, even with a growing belly it seems surreal to me that we are pregnant and that all is safe this time around!!

Oh my lovely internets (Betty I so adore when you say it I had to do it!). I am so sorry I have not been by to all your places the last week or so. Bloglines has been frisky with Blogger lately and well I am totally dependent on my RSS reader. See Blogger was not sending a ping to Bloglines, at least on some blogs so I had no idea you had lovely thoughts all typed out for the world to read! Many apologies!

I have some knitting goodness to share with you all once I get unlazy and take some pictures *blush* I cannot believe the rush when I knit something new! hehe I am such a geek. So I will take pictures ASAP! So I can share all the yummy knitting goodness!

Some people have received their Christmas cards already! Including one to Australia?!?! LOL The Canadian cards are still in transit! Craziness! I am glad they are brightening the mailboxes for you all!

Pic of the Day ~  Becca ~ 

Becca has a brand new favorite show, although the Wonder Pets are still number one, with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse a close second, she has discovered the cute Handy Manny. Every time we have watched it, I kept thinking to myself “Self that voice sure sounds like Fez from That 70’s Show”. Then over the weekend J too had the same thoughts. So I went to the ever trusty Wikipedia to see. Yup, good old Wilmer Valderrama, is entertaining my toddler. He really does a great job with the voice and Becca knows most of her tools now (Grandpa M will be so proud!)
Ok for real I saw this list and I was flabbergasted. C’Net UK created a list of the Top Ten Girl Geeks. I mean are they for real or are they mocking us geek girls? I was annoyed when they included Lisa Simpson, but Paris Hilton? It is cool that she plays on her PSP but a geek!?! I would think there are better girl geeks out there! I think, girl geeks like myself can be better represented, what do you think?

I designed a banner for another blogger and was compensated for it. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside that someone thinks my work is worthy of a little something! Go ahead and take a peek at A Crack N’ Life, leave her a “Oh MY! Your blog is BEAUTIFUL” comment for me! I do so adore the design challenges, now if I could only get the nerve up to start a business *blush* some day … maybe …. I also made a forum banner for my Knitting Guru as a trade for some diapers. I have not heard back yet if she likes it (it is a first draft), however I am loving the work! If she approves and does not mind I will show you what I created. I offer my services for anyone looking for a makeover. I create the graphics myself (unless otherwise requested) and so far it has been a swap of services or a small fee.

Becca’s cold is still monstrous. We were suppose to go to the park today with some other kids, but it is all damp and cool out, so we are skipping that. I have some errands to run so we may do that quickly then snuggle up back at home.

Tomorrow we are all going to see the OB. I am so excited to hear Little Bear’s heartbeat again. The baby has been so active in there! We will get the results of the sugar test then. I scored with Freecycle the other night. A lady has posted a bouncey seat, seriously it looks new and is the Fisher Price Ocean Aquarium one! w00t! December 15, seems so far away! I can hardly wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl.

Pic of the Day ~ Becca and Daddy ~Most days I am pretty home sick, yet somehow I just know that I am going to miss shopping here. Canada has stores, we do! However, not like Southern California! Combine that with some improve your mental health on Black Friday, healing shopping and well this good old Canadian girl was in heaven!

Target was amazing even in the afternoon! There were deals left, right, CENTRE … oh gosh it was frightful. It is so hard to have any element of control when you see deals like those! We did get some Christmas presents, oh and OMG! We purchased TWO seasons of the Simpsons for $6 a piece?!?!? The cashier made an error we think, but we are chalking it up to good old fashion karma!
We were on a mission though. Remember earlier this week I feared Becca was getting ill. UGH! I was right. Normally I take great satisfaction being right. This time not so much. Anyway…we had to get a new humidifier. Ours not being the kid friendly kind and also not pumping out the steamy goodness like it should. So we purchased this cute Penguin! Sadly upon returning home the sucker was broken (don’t you hate it when stores place BROKEN merchandise back on the shelves, nasty I say!) however I went out in the evening and exchanged it at another Target! hehe! Isn’t the Penguin cute!??!

Thanks so much for all your kind comments. It was just a terrible place to be at that moment and my blog is my cheap therapy. Terrible but not terrible. I know that my heart will never forget, so it is nice to honour the one we lost even if it hurts to do so.

Check out the new digs?!?! Ehhhh! I worked on this theme for a while. Drawing snow digitally … it’s hard to do. However, with a little determination I finally worked it all out. Can you tell at all I miss Canada?!?! hehe!

I worked my butt off this morning so that J could take all the Christmas packages to the mail! w00t all presents are on their way to Canada!

Pic of the Day ~ Becca At The Christmas Tree ~

We put up our Christmas tree and decorations yesterday, despite my normal hesitation to do so before December begins. This year Becca is bringing me so much joy and holiday spirit, I just had to jump right in.

With the happiness comes some grave sadness too. It surprised me at first, then it all made sense. I have talking about the miscarriage much more than I normally do (aka not at all) the past few weeks. My head preparing my heart. Last year on Black Friday, I discovered I was bleeding. Despite most people’s attempts to reassure me that it could all turn out ok from the point I knew. I knew it was over and that I would have to live through losing my baby.

Putting up the tree this year brought tears to my eyes. Watching our sweet daughter placing all the ornaments on one branch overwhelmed me with emotion. There was suppose to be a baby brother or sister here, celebrating their first Christmas. Instead emptiness. Last year December was a numb blur for me. I blogged everyday and sounded cheery enough, but really I was frozen inside, unable to feel the full effect of our loss. Trying so hard to be strong and accept that these things happen for a reason. pffft there is no reason to have taken my baby. That is such a crock to say to people, it does not help, because logic when your heart if broken makes absolutely no sense.

This year we are going to celebrate Christmas the three of us one last time. This pregnancy is ok, the baby is safe and sound in there, growing, kicking and making me tired and cranky at times. Next year I will have my two children around the tree with my adoring husband. Somehow that makes the loss a little easier. A little. Someone asked me recently if the pain ever goes away. I said no. I miss that baby everyday that I breath. I wonder what might have been, what should have been.

I know there are people that would prefer that I would have dealt with this and moved on. And I have to some degree, but no matter how much I want to not mourn that loss, I still have to. This is the ugly truth, that it still hurts like hell that we lost our baby.

Now I did not say there would be no happy thoughts ahead. Yesterday was a beautiful day for our family. Becca adored decorating the tree, placing all the ornaments on a single branch! She spoke of the ornaments being friends and having to stick together. The kid has an amazing imagination!
This morning woke way early (5 am early *shudders at the thought*) to cruise over to Michaels to get my huge list of knitting supplies and yarn. *drool* Yarn shopping with a coupon. Black Friday is CRAZY, although comparable to Boxing Day in Canada. One exception, the people wearing PARKAS in Southern California, have no clue what December 26th is like in Canada. hehe!

I hope to take some pictures of all the beautiful yarn I bought today. I should be set for projects for a while now. I have about 4-5 that I want to complete, including a baby blanket for the baby. J figures I will complete it before Christmas, but I am not so sure, it is HUGE! hehhe! I think I am officially addicted to knitting! And I like it!