Pic of the Day ~ Becca and Daddy Flying High at Disneyland ~

Fall is in the air. The leaves are falling from the trees and I am feeling homesick. Last Fall was full of frustrations, excitement, then disappointment and despair. Yet traditionally Autumn is my favorite season. The cool air, the need for a toque is still optional, the leaves changing the smell of snow tickles your nose. We got married in the Fall of 2001, a beautiful crisp November wedding.

Snow does not tickle the nose in Southern California. No need for a toque (in fact they do not know what a toque is), or flannel PJ’s, even socks are optional all year long. Yet it the weather turns cool enough at least at night that swimming in our unheated pool is no longer an option. Jeans and long sleeves are required wear (not a sweater though unless you are a true Californian!) Somehow, Fall is just not the same here, but I am in a little funk and things may change after Friday.

I have a lot on my mind lately. However the most prominent, nagging thought brings me to Friday morning. I have prayed that the first day of Autumn will not be forever ruined like this day was last year. I am experiencing some anxiety about the entire process. It is the ultrasound office’s procedure to not speak and isolate me alone until the initial assessment is over. This is not abnormal, although cruel. I remember clearly anxiously waiting to hear news about Becca, however we had seen her and heard her heartbeat by that point. Last time, the technitian was a freak. She like ran out of the office leaving me there crying, the radiologist never confirmed anything he just said it is what I think it it then sent me across the hall to my OB’s office for him to tell me.

I am not sure if I will be able to breath until the techniciation speaks and then invites J in. I thought I was going to be all brave and insist that J be there from the start. However it is office policy not to allow that. So now I am not so sure. Is it worth crying and fighting for something they probably will not allow anyway? I barely got the appointment when we wanted it. To say America does not have waiting times is sadly mistaken. Can you imagine if we did not have insurance?

Becca and I have been and will be busy until Friday morning. Meetings and a trip to the LA County fair will bring me to a point of exhaustion that will limit the amount of time I can worry. And really worrying is so not working for me. I just argue with myself. “Chelle you are being silly, the baby is fine….Sure you did not see the miscarriage coming last time and bought maternity clothes 5 minutes before seeing the blood in the toilet paper, this time is different. Geez you have gained 10 pounds it is pregnancy or Weight Watchers Girl!”

*sigh* Is it Friday yet?

Oh how I adore my little group of knitters! We had a wonderful time Sunday morning. The air was warm, the wool was soft and the conversation was at its best. At times I sit quietly trying to absorb all the information they have. To be that comfortable with the art is an amazing thing and you can witness it with every stitch they make. I am still quite clumsy and slow, however it brings me much relief from anxiety and a lot of joy. Who knew a little sheep, bamboo and patience could be so joyful?!?! It has been requested that I share my beginner projects with the masses. I have to admit I am a little knit shy. Below is a mosaic of my projects, if you go to my Flickr account you will find descriptions of each.

Becca and I had a wonderful yet tiring day. We went for a knit/playdate at a knitting pal’s house! Becca had a great time playing with the other kids and all their toys! And I was able to get some more pointers on the next step on Becca’s sweater and knit! Perfect morning. We got home late and I was tired and grumpy. We both napped the afternoon away!

This afternoon we played in the backyard then went for a walk to get the mail. Both of us in better spirits once we fully woke from our naps. The photos below I took this morning. I have discussed the Tickle Trunk concept before, and we have been slowly building up a nice collection of pretend clothes, hats and costume jewelry! (big thanks to Grandma Masuda for the amazing goods!) This morning was the first time Becca went all out and put on a pretend dress, hat and jewelry! She looked so cute and loved being all dressed up!

Pic of the Day ~ The Family and Mickey! ~

J surprised Becca and I on Thursday by taking us to Disneyland! We had a wonderful time, the park was quiet and totally not crowded! We were able to cover all of the Disneyland side even though we arrived a little later than anticipated. Becca totally loved having her Daddy there and he took her on the roller-coaster! Although Becca and I totally adore going on our own, nothing beats having Daddy there for the day!

I was absolutely exhausted on Friday. Thankfully there was a Wonder Pets marathon on that Becca totally enjoyed then she made me pretend eggs. I love her cooking! She has been in excellent spirits despite the every other day, Mom’s a tired pup thing. She even broke through another molar!

Today Becca and I cleaned the house, while J went into work. Part of the Disneyland deal was that J has to kick it into high gear in the lab. He has been preparing application packages and now it is time to get down and dirty with the research part. *sigh* I am going to miss that cute man!

I am meeting up with my knitting group tomorrow morning! I am so excited. I have knitted myself into a jam and I am hoping that the lovely ladies will help me knit on. I am so hoping this project works out so I can be all proud when Becca models it here…hehe!

I found all my maternity clothes that I had packed away. It helped me realize that although I am feeling porky, I am far the massive beach ball toting pregnant woman of days past. I have a long ways to go, yet thankfully the T’s I ordered from Old Navy will look adorable with the pants I have already! Less than a week till we get to see the ultrasound. I still feel prickles in my breasts and totally pregnant in so many ways so I am hoping all will be well.

Thanks for your comments. It is good to know what I am feeling is “normal” and that I alone am not suffering! If I have not made it to your blog I am on my way, then I am hitting the sack. Stephen King has been keeping me up a little later than usual and I have been leaving the house without my Cell.

I am all gushing and honoured, because today our blog is the Blog of the Week over at Overwhelmed With Joy!!!! So I answered a bunch of questions and shared a secret over there … the only way to find out what the secret is … click below and read it! If you have not been to Overwhelmed With Joy, it is a fantastic blog so make sure you snoop around!

Thanks for all the awesome support yesterday. You all know how to make a porky pregnant gal feel better! Becca and I chilled out all morning. Me knitting, Becca taking in all her shows and talking to me about it. After we both had a long, hard core nap I felt a bit better. This whole feeling yucky and tired sucks. Becca was an angel all day. hehe Actually she went wild when her Daddy got home, but until then she was magical.

Since my breasts have grown and my belly is expanding, my cute T-shirts will not be cutting it soon. I am so not even that pregnant and yet today I am going to go look at maternity T-shirts!?!??!?! Partly because my Dad will be arriving from Canada the first week in October and between now and then we are busy. Not insane, I am going to die of exhaustion busy. More, one day we have an event, then next two days are days of rest! I feel like if I do not go when I have a chance, another opportunity will not present itself!

So much to do, so little time and energy!!!

Pic of the Day ~ Our Princess ~

I need more sleep. The more sleep I get the more sleep I need. I do not remember needing this much sleep when pregnant with Becca. Then again I did not have a toddler that demanded me to be on my best Mom behaviour. J recalls me needing sleep back then. I guess my memory is selective!
I resent not having more energy. I want to be able to do it all. You read my blog, you know how I am. At times I am insane with the amount Becca and I do. Now I am not even sure I want to attempt a trip to the mall. ugh.

I so so so want to take Becca to Disneyland. J is really busy with work so he cannot take a day off at the moment. I just cannot muster up enough energy to do it. I think I would be ok until it was time to drive home. That drive is long in traffic and I need to be alert. ugh. I wannna go to Disneylandddddddddd! *pout*

I keep telling myself it is a good sign that I am tired. This means I am probably still pregnant and that all is well. Just a few more weeks and the second trimester will begin. Then all will be well. Then we can go to Disneyland, I can knit, sew, blog, design, clean, organize …. *sigh*

On a happier non-grumpy note, we saw the proofs from our beach portraits yesterday. They are FABULOUS!!!! I am so excited!! I even asked if I watermarked the pictures, if I could post some. She said YES!!! As long as I posted they phone number too (which I thought was cute!) The pictures turned out so pretty. Becca was totally rocking that morning. I am so excited to get the pictures back in a week or so.

Ugh! I am still grumpy. That moment thinking about the pictures I was all warm and fuzzy now not so much. I know I am grateful to even be pregnant and I want this baby to be ok. I really should not be complaining at all. It just sucks to be dragging. Oh and what is up with getting all porky already. Oh and not cute pregnant chubby no no no, just porky. ok I need to perk up and quit complaining. ok SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE >> Off to the dollar store for stickers we go!
At least in a few short weeks this first trimester will be over. Just in time for my Dad to arrive and our trip to San Fransisco!!!