Pic of the Day ~ Sick Becca Boo Enjoying Dora with Her Backpack

Ok seriously you guys are awesome! Thank you so much for all the comments!! You helped me see it in another persepective, which is way better than where I was yesterday evening. I guess I was looking at the progress we made in Canada, as a failure here, because it is so different. After some successful designing (always helps me ego) and a good nights sleep, I realize that I was looking at it all wrong. Becca and I may have to “Start Over” this summer with swimming and other summer time activities, however it IS all new to her. Last time we went swimming she could not walk! Now I cannot even imagine her not walking. I have to remember that everything is new to Becca. Toddlers do not have the same memories that we as adults have. Ultimately I lost my persepective on things and as most mom’s do I place my feelings on myself and felt guilty After reading everyone’s comments and emails, I realized this is not about me (can you imagine that??) and my capabilities as a mommy, rather it is about growing with my daughter and enjoying every moment we have togther. So thanks again..you guys rock!

Becca has a runny nose We have been illness free since my Dad’s last visit. She is coughing a little but overall is not too bad. She is definately out of sorts, really snuggley, needs more reassurance and seems lost sometimes. Poor girl So this morning we chilled out and watched a Dora movie & did some laundry. Becca had a 3 hour NAP!?! Poor kid She snuggled so much today. Anyone with a toddler can testify, if they sit still for 1/2 an hour something is up. We were low key today in preparation for my Dad’s visit in like 4 DAYS!!!! I am so excited!!!!!!

I almost forgot! I added a cool RSS slide fedder thingy to the top of the blog and have received a few emails about it….I spotted it and thought it looked wicked cool. You can find out more information at slide.com! Enjoy!

Pic of the Day ~ Beautiful Becca

Becca & I had a quiet morning. We chilled out then went outside to play. I so love that we have a backyard to play in, despite the fact that we are in an apartment. After Becca got up from her nap, I was determined to take Becca swimming.

We drove across the city to the only indoor pool and they wanted to charge us an insane amount! I was really disappointed since I had called in the morning and they totally quoted us a different price! The desk dude finally charged us a reasonable amount and we went to change. Becca was totally scared!?!?! It broke my heart since swimming was one of her favorite activities! She clung to me the entire time and literally shook in my arms. We left after being in the pool for 20 minutes I asked about the amount it would normally cost and the lady said $7.50. I was in shock! In Canada we paid at most $4. Then she proceed sto tell me it encourages people to join the Y and pay a monthly fee of $37. Yeah well the frikin place is half an hour away and not clean and no kiddie pool, plus there were lane swimmers running us over!?!?! *sigh*

I feel like I am a bad Mommy. When we first arrived in Ontario (pre-Becca) I totally became a hermit. Spending my time at work or on the computer. It was a very lonely, sad time for me. I Missed my old friends, my old job and my family. Then Becca came along and I was determined to get out and join life again. I met an awesome group of Mommies and we hung out every week. Becca and I swam twice a week, went to the library once a week and had so much fun together. Then we move to California….I join Mommy groups, attend LLL meetings and try to get out there with Becca. We went swimming all the time when the weather permitted and we were fairly active. When I lost the baby, I kinda went into solitude mode. Becca and I have not joined in the group activities with the Mommys group, we did go to the last LLL meeting but we were both a little out of sorts while there. I feel like I failed Becca the past 6 weeks. Now she is afraid of swimming! She does not have the opprotunity to play with other kids and we have been such homebodies. *sigh* Moving is so hard and so challenging when you have children. I feel so intimidated going out sometimes…

J came home after I typed this all out and reassured me I am not a bad Mommy. Not sure why I am so down this evening I was so happy until we went swimming and it did not go as well as I thought it would….

While Becca was napping I worked on a web site. I am a Spymac member and that includes webspace. I was not sure if I would utilize it since I have soodz.com and this blog. However, I just got Ilife 06 for my Mac and wanted to try out the new IWeb. It is a cool template system, but I like to hand code my own stuff. Anyway, I plan on posting projects that I am working on, while I am working on them and that kinda geek stuff. The kinda geek jazz that most people that read my blog do not care about, are bored with or just do not have a frikin clue what the heck I am going on about So if you are so inclined go to take a peak at http://raechelle.spymac.com (note it is slow to load but so worth it if you wait).